Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Emma: We were best friends throughout school and beyond, aged 11 through to 23. She ended up in a relationship with a guy who basically kept her captive within her own home. No amount of persuasion would make her leave him. During the time of hardly any communication, I found a great friend, a guy who I was unsure of taking the next step with. He told me he loved me and I told him he was a great friend and I wanted to see where we went. One day, out of the blue, I got a call from Emma. She had ditched the guy and wanted to catch up.I took my male friend with me to the coffee house while we caught up, we ended up being labled the 'terrible threesome' after a while by other friends.One summer we went to a music festival, got very drunk, I woke up the next morning to find Emma and my male friend having sex, right next to me in the tent!!I got up, collected my things and called my mum to come pick me up.I didn't speak to her again until a year later, she was still with my male friend and they had had a baby together. She had pretty much gotten pregnant that first time.I ended up homeless and she offered me a room in their home for a while. In the time that I was there I noticed how upset my male friend was most of the time. He was downright unhappy and I could see why; he worked 12-16hr shifts at an airport that took him 2hrs to get to work in the early hours of the morning. He barely slept, she didn't work at all. She spent all her time sat on her backside watching daytime TV, ignoring her daughter and the mess she created.She barely showered and even ran a comb through her hair. Her excuse for not showering; "I've been running after {name} all day!" I'd tidy around while she sat around. I cooked dinner for her daughter and made sure the home was somewhat presentable for when he came home.On his days off she would make excuses like "have to go see my mother" or "I'm popping into the city for a few hours", leaving him and I at home, these days he cleaned, he cleaned everything, the house gleamed and shone. He did his washing, he played with his daughter, he cooked dinner.Eventually I lost my job and had to leave, moved back in with my mother for a while, we lost contact again.Now, I recieve regular texts from him, asking how I am and we just chat.I feel for him though, she slept with someone else and has now had this guys baby, my friend is raising it as his own as he doesn't want to loose his real daughter.For this...I never want to speak to her again.
Phil. We met through a mutual high school friend. After college, and into our twenties, we became the best of friends. We saw each other often and talked on the phone. He was always involved in dysfunctional relationships, including a 16 year old girl that he started seeing when he was in his late 20s. He bought her breast implants and she dumped him shortly thereafter - he never even got to see his $3,000 investment. He also had several girlfriends that always cheated on him - he cheated on them too.
The last girl he met, he married. The first, and only time, I ever met her was about a year before 9/11. Phil and I were going to LA to see a concert, and he had just started dating her. She came to the gate with him and sat there for about 15 minutes before we boarded. I didn’t really say much to her, because I had just met her and figured she was the latest temporary girlfriend of his. I wasn’t rude to her, I just didn’t really spend much time talking to her. Phil eventually lost his job and moved in with her. Then, he moved across the country with her and went to graduate school. He also married her at some point. During the four years between my first meeting her and the last time I spoke with him, we met up in three different states to either have dinner or see concerts. He was secretive, but friendly. He came back home a few years ago to look for a job because he was graduating, and we had lunch. He said we would get together later in the week but called and cancelled.
I tried to call him a couple months later and his phone had been disconnected. I tried his cell and the number was inactive. A couple of years passed and I was talking to the mutual friend that originally introduced us. Phil had gone to Oregon for a work related conference and asked our mutual friend if he could stay with him. Never mind that he hadn’t spoken to the guy for several years prior or since. They went golfing and when the mutual friend brought my name up, Phil launched into a story about how I “disrespected” his wife and he had nothing good to say about me. Keep in mind, I had met her one time and in the four ensuing years, Phil and I had met up in whatever state he was living in whenever I happened to be in town. He had let me winter my motorcycle in his garage before he moved. He had called me when he had his first kid and had invited me over to his parents for Christmas when he would come home for the holidays.
For a while I wondered how I disrespected a woman I had only met once, and why, if I had behaved so egregiously, he maintained a friendship with me for several years thereafter. But Phil was always a follower. I think he married a mentally abusive control freak that was threatened by our friendship. Apparently, based on what our mutual friend told me, she lets him go golfing on Saturdays with some old friends from high school, and that’s the only time he goes out without her.
He moved back to our home town apparently. We live in a big city, but I don’t know what I would say to him if I saw him again. I don’t hate him, but I think he’s a coward for disappearing and going underground. He’s not in the phone book, not on Facebook, he’s all but disappeared. I think he used our mutual friend when he went out to Oregon because he wanted a free place to stay while he was out there - he hasn’t called the guy since. I could probably locate him if I wanted to, but have never felt the need. When I do refer to him, I refer to him as Judas. He was always easily led, even by me, and now he let’s an easily threatened woman control his life. He has two daughters. It would be ironic if someday, men sodomize and use them like he did to all his girlfriends. He’s a weak, easily led eunuch who told a bunch of lies about me to at least one mutual friend.
The last time I got a Christmas card from him, the mailing label listed her name first and his second. She kept her maiden name. Pathetic.
I met Annie one faithful day in high school. A mutual friend had introduced me to this pink haired, carefree girl and I was immediately intrigued by her. We became fast friends and were soon hanging out all the time. Now, during this time, I thrived on the "demons" of life, such as drugs and alcohol. I did everything that I could get my grubby little hands on, and apparently the both of us had this in common. We used to spend countless hours in her room, discussing everything from music to life. Things were great like this for a couple years. Then things changed. I came to pick her up at her house on day and she had obviously been "partying". We walked into the house, only to find that she had left the sink upstairs running for hours, and the entire ceiling above her parents bed had caved in. When her parents got home, they were less than thrilled. One parent had actually punched her in the head. So I told her until the house was fixed that she could live with me. Big mistake. She would get trashed and come back at all hours of the day and night. That is when she would show up at all. Her things were in my house for months before they were finally picked up. I should have seen this as a warning sign, but did not. Our "demon" usage had progressed to near dangerous levels. While I was busying "skiing the snowcaps" Annie had begun "chasing the dragon". When I came to my senses and cleaned myself up, I respectfully bowed out of hanging out with her and her "friends". The last time I heard from her was when I got a call at 2am with her crying and telling me she wanted help. I offered to take her to rehab, and that offer was quickly turned down and replaced with an offer to "party" instead. I politely declined and asked her to never call me again (as I was working through my own issues still at the time). I heard a year or so later that she had burned down her parents house, rumor has it she nodded out with a cigarette. I will never know the real story, I just hope one day she gets her life together. I also hope that her parents finally learned their lesson about letting her live there.