It was T.D.’s 19th birthday party. We were drunk virgins and I was sick of waiting for him to make the first move. I wanted him to be “the one” more than anything at the time. I knew that he was uncircumcised so I asked him to show me what it looked like. He waved the “let’s go” flag, grabbed me and we locked ourselves in the bedroom. He proceeded to show me the business. I looked at him, he looked at me… I went to make my move when he pushed me away and said “We’re just friends, right?” So I was trying to work through being rejected (and staring at my first penis) and went to tell him that I really liked him when he started crying about how much he loved his mom. The bawling was so loud that our mutual friend had to come in and console T.D. with “it’s okay, man. Your mom's great.” With his raging-semi shlong hanging part way out of his jeans. Last I heard he "had his heart broken by a stripper" and spent some time in jail. He may have just delivered your pizza.