Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I don't remember his name (thank God). He was a friend of a friend who seemed fine in mixed company, but when I started spending time alone with him he got...creepy. Strike that, he was batshit insane.

He was paranoid and hateful. He thought his parents, his neighbors, the cops etc. were out to get him. He made crass sex jokes even after I asked him to stop. He excused his hatred of all religions by saying a Catholic nut-job burnt his girlfriend to death in the park, and his homophobia by saying he was molested when he was four. I believe neither story.

He refused to drink soda because he said it depletes calcium from your bones, but would smoke a pack a day because he planed to die by age 23 anyway. He blamed his stench on his pet turtle and made plans on how to kill it. He would talk repeatedly about forbidden "shadowcraft" moves that could kill a man with one blow, or how to evade the cops by "going all stealth". His favorite words were "sketch", "sketchball", and "crackhead" and he would use them to describe anyone who didn't like him. He claimed to have friends out side of school I never saw.

When I deliberately avoided him, he came looking for me. While waiting for him to realize he wasn't welcome around me without pushing him into rage, I wrote cathartic, thinly veiled hate stories about him for my English class. He eventually stopped searching for me at lunch and I didn't see him again. It was a breath of fresh air. I sort of hope he did join the army like he planed to and met his death goal early. Bastard.

Did I mention that our mutual friend once to set us up together? At first all our friends thought we'd make a great couple. The mind boggles.

9 comments:

Melle said...

"I don't remember his name (thank God). He was a friend of a friend who seemed fine in mixed company, but when I started spending time alone with him he got...creepy. Strike that, he was batshit insane."

This is EXACTLY what I am going through right now. You're just to funny, I had to bookmark AND blogroll you on wordpress.

Geigus said...

Was his name Casey Kelley, by any chance?

sutton said...

It sounds like this guy is schizophrenic. Seriously.

sutton said...

It sounds like this guy is schizophrenic. Seriously.

sutton said...

It sounds like this guy is schizophrenic. Seriously.

Becca the Promo Mami said...

wtf!??!!??
this is terrible.

I wish I had the balls to do this... because I know (well, knew) some crazy ppl.

this is really hilarious though.

amysansom said...

Whooo! Yeah, I think it's safe to say he's one to avoid!

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