I don't remember his name (thank God). He was a friend of a friend who seemed fine in mixed company, but when I started spending time alone with him he got...creepy. Strike that, he was batshit insane.

He was paranoid and hateful. He thought his parents, his neighbors, the cops etc. were out to get him. He made crass sex jokes even after I asked him to stop. He excused his hatred of all religions by saying a Catholic nut-job burnt his girlfriend to death in the park, and his homophobia by saying he was molested when he was four. I believe neither story.

He refused to drink soda because he said it depletes calcium from your bones, but would smoke a pack a day because he planed to die by age 23 anyway. He blamed his stench on his pet turtle and made plans on how to kill it. He would talk repeatedly about forbidden "shadowcraft" moves that could kill a man with one blow, or how to evade the cops by "going all stealth". His favorite words were "sketch", "sketchball", and "crackhead" and he would use them to describe anyone who didn't like him. He claimed to have friends out side of school I never saw.

When I deliberately avoided him, he came looking for me. While waiting for him to realize he wasn't welcome around me without pushing him into rage, I wrote cathartic, thinly veiled hate stories about him for my English class. He eventually stopped searching for me at lunch and I didn't see him again. It was a breath of fresh air. I sort of hope he did join the army like he planed to and met his death goal early. Bastard.

Did I mention that our mutual friend once to set us up together? At first all our friends thought we'd make a great couple. The mind boggles.

Fleischmann was a guy I dated briefly only because he was the poor man's look-a-like to my previous boyfriend who dumped me. He looked good on paper: he had a car, didn't live at home with his parents, and had a job. The real story was that he was a massive stoner and his car and rented room looked like it was inhabited by pack rat homeless people. I dumped him for his weed consumption and somehow he came back two months later. He said he was getting help and talking to a therapist and I went along with it. He was in hisl ate 20's and had only been with one woman in his whole life. At first, it was endearing and I felt sort of bad for him. Then after I slept with him for the first time, he informed he wasn't into it because he was addicted to porn and had an unhealthy view of what turned him on. I was overweight and pissed off that he felt the need to tell me this AFTER we had sex! We met at a club for fat chicks which he went to all the time because he was desperate. I threatened to tell everyone at the bar about him and his tiny ding dong.The funny thing is that he has a friend who works with me. Sometimes she mentions his name and that when he's in town, he has the urge to stop by my place to see how I'm doing. What a fuck-nut!

Lucy was a flatmate who took an instant dislike to me despite my best efforts to be nice to her. She would mutter insults under her breath just loud enough for me to be able to hear, but not quite loud enough for me to know if she'd meant me to hear it, or was just thinking out loud.

Marc. he was my boyfriend for about a month before he told me he had to go out of town to work undercover (he was a cop). he left in the beginning of january of last year and we talked every day. the middle of january he said he wasn't allowed to call me anymore, so we emailed everyday. the beginning of february the emails because less to none. i got a clue...finally. i will probably run into him one day while he's out with his wife and 4 kids.

Dana. We took a language class together and she was fun to hang out with. She loaned me the entire series of "Sex in the City" and we'd talk about the show and laugh about life. After a while, I realized that she always put me down in subtle ways. Every time we parted, I felt like I was doing it all wrong. The last time we talked, she said, "I always call you. You never call me. If you want to remain friends, you have to call me and make plans. I'm not going to call you." I agreed, but I never called. After a few months of feeling sort of guilty about it, I realized (like Miranda says in SITC) that I was just not that into her. Andy