Cheryl. After my final semester of college, I had my apartment for three more months until the lease expired. Cheryl was going through a toughtime financially, and I offered her my place for $500 flat, instead oft he $500 for each of the three months that the place was going to cost me. Two days before the lease was up, I showed up to gather the last ofmy stuff, snag the $500, and head off into the sunset. Cheryl wasn't packed, and the entire apartment was caked with what can only bedescribed as cat poophair. Regardless of this, I helped Cheryl pack her shit while her boyfriend slept on the mattress with the cats. During the last trip of moving stuff, I asked about the $500, andCheryl offered to mail it to me. Fine. Wonderful. Sadly, I never sawthat check, and luckily nor have I seen Cheryl or her bastard cats.

Lorif - a girl who came to visit me in the most expensive city in the world, she stayed with me for free and then complained that she wasted her money calling me from overseas to figure out where I would leave the key for her. Since key exchange was impossible she had to wait all scared in my neighborhood on the doorstep - it is the poshest one in the city and there was a Starbucks across the street. She then went to Paris the next week and stayed in a 5 star hotel!? Ungrateful diva-bitch!

Rick. A guy I shared a house with when I was a senior in college and he was working (He graduated two years earlier). I worked about 30 hours a week and for about four months, I lent him money for food and his half of utilities while he was looking for a better job. One day, he was opening his mail and looked a little pissed. I asked him what was wrong and he said his mutual funds took a hit. I said, "Hey, I thought you said you were broke?" He said, "I am. I don't count my stocks."

Kim. A woman I dated for a few months in my senior year of college. When I confronted her with the knowledge that she'd just given me mono, berating her for not telling me she had it, she replied, "But they told me I had herpes, not mono." And then she wondered why I broke up with her.

Shantra. She was moving and asked to borrow my Toyota 4x4 for the weekend. Friday afternoon I give her the keys and then she, without myknowledge, lent my truck to her boyfriend who then went off-roading. When he returned they went out clubbing, again in my truck, and were detained around 2:30 AM for DUI and trying to resist arrest (boyfriend tried to make a run for it and got caught). Truck was impounded, I was called to bail them out of jail, and then I was called insensitive (amongst other things) when I asked for money to get the truck out ofimpound AND for gas money to fill it up.

Staci. She sucked me dry while she was broke but still got a tattoo, pregnant (3rd time!!!), a digital camera, and went to Disney with her husband, kids and in-laws knowing full well that they were going to declare bankruptcy when they returned. Oh, did I mention she didn’t make a house payment for over a year yet kept her house cleaner! Psycho!! Just couldn’t keep swallowing the madness!!

Karen.* My former wife who cheated--and bought a bunch of crap for her boyfriend using my credit card.

Kevin. A guy who slept with my girlfriend before he came out of the closet.

Chris. Nasty son-of-a bitch who turned on me during my divorce by making light of the problems it caused my children. I should have punched him.